Sucking in the 70s: Three Cars from America's Most Tasteless Decade

Stop by 15th Ave West and Dravus, and you'll find the gas station where the 70s survived. Both cars pictured below were very successful. The Chrysler B-body coupe, pictured here as the 1976 Dodge Charger but also sold as the Chrysler Cordoba, Plymouth Fury and a bunch of other names, was a big hit at a time when the company was staggering toward bankruptcy. And the 1978 Mercury Cougar, which was the same car as that year's Ford Thunderbird, sold an unbelievable 565,000 copies for Ford and Mercury combined.

On the one hand, these cars are remembered as gas-guzzling land yachts from an era when Detroit was increasingly losing market share due to its inability to compete with smaller, more practical, higher quality and less garish-looking cars from Japan. On the other hand, at least these cars tried to add a little artistry to their design, unlike today's world of identical gray SUVs.

The 1974 Maverick pictured below is parked around the corner; I suspect it also belongs to the gas station. Love the vintage stereo receiver in the back seat!

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Where the 70s Survived: 1978 Chevy Van

It's hard to wrap your mind around American culture of the 1970s. What to say about the forgotten phenomenon of the custom van?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From flashbak.com: "There were no minivans in the 1970s.  This was a time before the van had been tamed, before it had been neutered into the soccer-mom machine that it is today.  In the 1970s, vans didn’t carry spoiled kids drinking juice-boxes and watching Spongebob…. quite the contrary.  Vans were basically a bedroom on wheels.  No Spongebob, no juice boxes, no trips to organized sporting events in the suburbs…. just lots of sex and recreational drug use.  You might say the 1970s full size van was the crazy uncle of the modern minivan – the uncle that lived dangerously in the 70s, then flamed out at decade’s end.

In the 1970s, many van owners took their shaggin’ wagons seriously and tricked them out to the limit: Big shiny sidepipes with mellow sound, plush interior carpeting for maximum fornication, duals to amp up the horsepower,…. and, perhaps most importantly, the artwork on the sides….

The vans of the 1970s were decorated with airbrushed psychedelic wizards, doobie smoking dragons, naked slave girls, flaming unicorns… the trippier the better.  I reiterate – this was not your mom’s minivan.  This was a place where “bad” things happen, and the designs were warning signs.  Get into the back of a van with an airbrushed Grim Reaper in a land of mushrooms and naked fairies, and you should know what your (sic) getting into."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1978 Totyota Corona Luxury Edition

In the 1970s perception of Japanese cars in America was that they were only a challenge to Detroit in the subcompact market. But cars like this and the Honda Accord were early indicators that Japan intended to take on American brands in all market segments. Curbsideclassic.com described this car as dull but reliable, noting, "amidst a sea of self-destructing Vegas and Volares, that did have its charms."

I doubt this car was originally sold with the Japanese-style way-up-front side-view mirrors; the owner probably added them.

 

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1978 Lincoln Continental Mark V

First let me say that this can be a reasonably attractive car (in a disco sort of way), at least when painted blue with a matching top or some other color scheme that doesn't make your eyes burn. This Continental's color isn't pink exactly, nor would I call it salmon. It reminds me of the off-pink that Crayola crayons used to call, "flesh".

This car would have run you at least $14K in 1978, or $50K in 2020 dollars. Given the high price point, and the fact that in the late '70s America was in the midst of a crushing energy crisis, you might think that Ford had a hard time selling cars like this. Well that's where you'd be wrong. Ford sold 72,600 of these in 1978, and also sold a staggering 565,000 Ford Thunderbirds and Mercury Cougars; land yachts scarcely smaller than the behemoth pictured here. Who can explain anything from the '70s?

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1978 Buick Skylark

Another car from the "Decline and Fall of General Motors" file. This car was built on GM's "X" platform, which had been around since 1962. By the end of the 70s this platform was positively stone age when compared to a car like the first generation front-wheel drive Honda Accord. And while the 3rd generation X-cars (built between 1968 and 1974), are popular collectibles, this 4th and last generation is considered best forgotten.

*The most valuable thing about this car might be its rear wheel covers, which are from a Pontiac and are correct to the '68 Firebird.
* This same platform was adapted to create the first Cadillac Seville. Using the company's oldest, cheapest platform to build a new car for the prestigious Cadillac brand?! Yep, that was how GM did business in these dark days.

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1978 Pontiac Sunbird (Chevrolet Vega). Ladies and Gentlemen, the Worst American Car Ever Made

Since I started this blog, it's been my privilege to photograph in Seattle many still-running examples of notoriously bad cars. Yes, in the Emerald City there are people whose disregard for their own personal safety and lack of self-respect is so complete that they will actually take to the streets in a Ford Pinto, Chevy Chevette, Chevy Citation, Plymouth Volaré or Cadillac Cimarron. How these cars are still in operable condition, even in a city free of road salt, is equally remarkable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I have taken snapshots of many of Detriot's most notorious bombs, I have often wondered if I would ever spot the Holy Grail of bad American cars. Would I ever see a Chevy Vega?

By 1978 the original Vega had been reworked as the Monza for Chevy, while the old Vega wagon, dating all the way back to 1971, was dumped on Pontiac. The Vega represented everything that was wrong with General Motors in 1970 and its cynical response to the challenge of small, fuel-efficient imported cars. From a Popular Mechanics article by John Pearly Huffman entitled, How the Chevy Vega Nearly Destroyed GM:

"Of course, no one car and no one moment set GM on its downward path by itself. But the Vega embodied practically everything bad that was about to consume the corporation and, decades later, send it into bankruptcy."

The Vega, "was a small car developed not by the Chevrolet Division, but by a corporate team assembled by GM's president Ed Cole during 1968. Rushed through development in only two years, the Vega was delivered to (Chevrolet President John) DeLorean and Chevrolet as a fait accompli; a nearly complete vehicle over which Chevrolet itself would have only minimal engineering and design input. It was Chevrolet's and DeLorean's job to sell it."

"(T)he lack of engineering focus and the drive to keep the price low resulted in a car with notoriously thin sheetmetal only haphazardly covered in anti-rust primer. Soon the Vega was earning a reputation as a rust-prone bucket. It wasn't uncommon for rusted Vega front fenders to need replacing after only one or two seasons driving in the salted slop of northeastern winters. Even in states like California or Arizona where rust was almost unknown, Vega owners would see corrosion eating away at their cars.

The engine also had a barely adequate cooling system that combined with the delicate engine block for horrible results. When the engine got hot, which wasn't uncommon, the cylinders distorted and the piston rings wore off the exposed silica that was meant to provide a tough wall surface. Then, at best, the cars burned more oil. At worst, the distortion compromised the head gasket, caused the coolant to leak and eventually killed the engine."

"Since the Vega sold so strongly (almost 2 million were built before it left production after 1977), the result was that literally hundreds of thousands of buyers were having awful experiences with the car. Some were merely disappointed. Many were incensed. And a lot of them felt betrayed by General Motors, Chevrolet and the American auto industry as a whole. Surely, those customers were then far more willing to consider the Japanese alternatives that were starting to arrive."

Final note: This car does not have the notorious Vega engine; that's probably why it's still running. Instead it has Pontiac's 4-cylinder. While that motor has little going for it, at least it didn't blow up after just a few thousand miles.

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1978 Plymouth Volaré

Volare, oh oh! Cantare, oh oh oh oh! - Dean Martin

I've been looking for a still-running Volaré since I started this blog. And on this surprisingly summer-like day in May, jackpot!

In the 1970s, Detroit seemed to stagger from disaster to another, and the biggest for deeply-troubled Chrysler was the long-awaited replacement for its highly-popular and durable A-body models, which included the Dodge Dart and Plymouth Valiant and Duster.

From curbsideclassic.com: "Chrysler must have known that replacing the A-team successfully would be a mission-critical task. Boy, did they ever flub it. Their compacts went from being the most durable to the most-recalled in history, up to that time; GM’s X-bodies soon stole that title. It was 1957 all over again, but worse. At least Chrysler had the foresight to call them “F-Bodies”. From an A to an F, without any intermediate stops; what a fail.

Beta-testing new cars on a mass scale is just not a good idea. Build quality was all-round crappy, at best. It went downhill from there: five mandatory recalls covering a variety of ills with suspension, ignition, fuel system, brakes, steering and body. The one that had the highest visibility (literally) was pre-mature rusting of the front fenders. All (Plymouth Volarés and Dodge Aspens) had fenders inspected, removed, replaced and/or galvanized, and repainted to the tune of $109 million. That was serious bucks to Chrysler then, especially since the whole mothership was rusting away.

Lee Iacocca had this to say: “The Dart and Valiant ran forever, and they should never have been dropped. Instead they were replaced by cars that often started to come apart after only a year or two. When these cars first came out, they were still in the development phase. Looking back over the past twenty years or so, I can’t think of any cars that caused more disappointment among customers than the Aspen and the Volaré”. Honest, but easy for him to say, since he wasn’t responsible."

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1978 Datsun 200SX

This is not the first unrestored Datsun I've seen in Seattle that looks almost new. The 200SX looks sporty, but beneath the skin it's the same pokey little car as the B210. Still, it's not a bad choice if it's the 70s, and people are waiting hours to buy gas.

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1978 Plymouth Fury A38-Pursuit

Let me tell you about the greatest police car ever made. In 1980s, when police would try to pull over a speeder, if the leadfoot driver was in a old GTO or some other fast car from a bygone era, he would just drive away, knowing that the cop couldn't catch him. That's because police cars had gotten a lot slower. The Dodge St. Regis (what kind of name is that?) police car of 1980 probably only had a 318 V-8 to pull all that weight around, thanks to big engines going out of fashion. Not to mention the fact that Chrysler was on the verge of bankruptcy, and its future dependent on cars that were economical and just not much fun.

But in 1978, those things hadn't happened yet. That year, the Plymouth Fury police model was America's fastest car, with an incredible array of high-performance equipment.

From hemmings.com:

"The A38 package added brawn to the otherwise sedate 218-inch-long sedan, beginning with heavy-duty tuned suspensions "matched for high-speed handling and police duty," per period literature. The A38 also added slotted 7-inch-wide heavy-duty wheels, heavy-duty front disc/rear drum brakes, fabric-belted radial police pursuit tires, 500-ampere heavy-duty battery with heat shield, 100-ampere alternator, high-capacity radiator, calibrated 140-MPH speedometer, oil gauge, more responsive power steering with hose heat shields, and grass shields for the catalytic converters. Its differential was Chrysler's 9¼-inch unit offered with an array of ratios for various department needs, while an engine oil cooler and more were optional."

"Hidden from view were one of four engines, beginning with a standard two-barrel 318 altered for stressed service. Options including tuned versions of the 360, 400 and 440, all of which still featured four-barrel carburetors."

"With the exception of a full-size Chrysler, the 440 was unavailable for public use, and even then, the civilian version was rated for 195 hp. Those destined for police cars were instead rated for 255 hp and 355-lb.ft. of torque. The extra power was enhanced by dual catalytic converters fitted to a true dual exhaust system and electronic spark advance (except in California) and supported by heavy-duty parts like a shot-peened nodular cast-iron crankshaft, double-roller timing chain drive, moly-filled top compression piston rings, high-load valve springs with dampers, a windage tray, chromed and hardened exhaust valves. Bolted against it was the stout TorqueFlite automatic. 

Also in 1978, the Michigan State Police launched its yearly performance-based police car tests, a true best-bang-for-the-buck evaluation that dramatically differed from those done jointly, since 1956, by the Los Angeles County Sherriff's and Los Angeles Police Departments. Michigan's result: the 440 Fury handily bested the competition. Supplied with a 2.71 rear gear, it went from 0-60 MPH in 9.2 seconds; top speed was 132.7 MPH."

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1978 Chevrolet Chevette

Young drivers today have the advantage of buying inexpensive 10, 20 and even 30-year old Toyotas and knowing that their cars will likely be safe and reliable despite their age. Kids of my generation were not so lucky. The old Detroit-built cars we had were pretty much junk when they were new. And once they were 10 years old and we got hold of them, well, any time you got behind the wheel you knew there was some chance you were not going anywhere due to the possibility of a busted water, oil or fuel pump or leaky radiator, or something wrong with the ignition, or the transmission, or the brakes... you get the idea.

But even those among us driving Ford Mavericks or old Chrysler K-cars with cracked CV joints had pity on any poor soul forced to drive a Chevy Chevette. Everything about the Chevette screamed, "You are trapped in a terrible car!" It appears on any list of the cars that most damaged the reputation of General Motors. From Popular Mechanics:

"The Chevrolet Chevette was already outdated when it appeared in 1976. Based on GM's "T" platform, it was a primitive, front-engine, rear-drive subcompact in a small-car world that was busy being revolutionized by front-drive cars such as the Honda Civic and Accord, Volkswagen Rabbit and Ford Fiesta. It was underpowered too, originally being offered with a 1.4-liter Four making 53 hp or a 1.6-liter version of the same engine rated at 70 hp.

Chevrolet saved itself a lot of development time and money by picking up the Chevette design from GM Brazil. The Georgia-built small car was a solid sales success too, selling almost 450,000 units in 1980 alone. But it was always a car that sold strictly on price, with no real virtues of its own. And it was a huge help to Chevrolet in sneaking in under the federally mandated CAFE standards. But it also meant that for 11 years GM didn't bother developing an advanced small car specifically for the American market."

 

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1978 Datsun 810

This Datsun looks so new, it must be a time machine.

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